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23 Jun 2015

Sometimes we feel so awkward when our kids are too shy in front of the crowd. Being intelligent yet shy affects our kids in the classroom as well as getting acknowledged among their peers. I was worried when my daughter was shy in her foundation class, the only complaint I had then.

But, the truth is she was exhibiting her parent’s traits. I was an introvert during my school days and had my own small circle of friends with whom I shared all my feelings. My hubby too was someone who was a reserved type. We were completely fine with that and we did not face any complaints. But, after becoming a parent I came to learn that staying the same way doesn’t help my children in any way especially in an environment where social conversations played an important part of growing up.

This is where I began to move out socially, picking up conversations that came my way just to make my kids learn from me. And I am happy with my kids now as I can notice that their confidence level was growing and they have started exhibiting some extrovert traits. And if you are a parent who looks for ways to help your child become more confident, let me share some of the ways that I have previously shared in the Parentous community for helping other parents.

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Tips for making shy kids to become confident

  • Open up the conversation with your children about their school, their friends, etc. whenever you can. This can be done in the night time when you are making your kids to sleep in-between or after their bedtime story.
  • Encourage them to help you with little tasks like picking up the ringing mobile phone if you (Mom) is busy at some work and answering it for you. Example: If you are busy in the kitchen, ask your kids to answer the phone, noting down the person calling and replying to them. This will make sure that the kids take initiative to talk as well as to make sure that no important calls go missed. But always make sure that the child doesn’t give any extra details than what is needed, especially if the caller seems to be a stranger. With practice, kids will automatically learn what to answer, what not and how when handling telephone calls.
  • Similarly, when you are outside home let the kids help you with some simple tasks like the shopping by paying for the products they buy by themselves. Don’t overdo it making the sales assistant/shopkeeper annoyed. Make sure that you had given the correct change to your kid. Similarly, you can do the same in any social environment by taking your kids to important places like banks, parties, friend’s house, etc.
  • Encourage the kids to participate in extracurricular activities both in school and at home. If they back off, ask them to try it for a few days and check their comfortability level. If you find that they can be fine as days pass, then keep encouraging them else find their source of interest. You can take them to workshops in your area where you can also spend the time along with your kid as they have fun. I found that this method will help analsye our kid’s interest in subjects like drawing, painting, crafts, etc.
  • With the opportunities available both in online or offline, you can also make your child to participate in competitions with an open mind. Talk about participating more and never degrade them if they don’t win. By doing so, you will make them understand that failures are just a part of something, a process of trying and it is not the end.
  • Finally, make time or create some time for your kids so that they talk to you. Let them sing, shout or do the talking. And you stay a listener.
Though the process is slow and time consuming, the final results will be remarkable. Before long you will see that your child has become self-confident, self-reliant and independent, the traits that you were looking for.  Sometimes I take a step further involving my kids in some of my blogging activities within my control so that they can be become confident in displaying publically their works of arts, crafts and writing.

Are you having any more tips to share ?

5 comments:

  1. You are absolutely right. Kids exhibit parents' traits. I and my wife are not just extroverts - we are extreme extroverts. Our kids are also the same way. All 4 of us talk non-stop. I have noticed we (my wife and I) always asked our kids "open ended questions" only.

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  2. Great post. Though kids exhibit their parents' traits, sometimes it's not true. My cousin, and her husband are extroverts, but my nephew is shy. Maybe, these tips will help him get confidence. Thanks for sharing!

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  3. Very good and useful post Uma...btw how are you guys doing? I might try the shopping thing with my kiddos :)

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  4. Loved your pointers. I am an extrovert while my hubby is reserved. I think my daughter has gone by her dad and is quite introvert when outside. Your pointers will definitely help me.

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